by Thomas H. Hunter

Allison Park, Pennsylvania - 1961

Copyright 1961 by Zeke, Charlie and Boris Printing Incorporated

1. Why aren'y you paying attention to the teacher?
A. I'm stupid
B. I'm Lazy
C. I Cheat
D. I hate the teacher

2. Do you have a pet alligator?
A. Yes
B. No
C. Undecided

3. Why not?
A. I don't have a swimming pool
B. I dislike alligators
C. My neighbors dislike alligators
D. My neighbors dislike me

4. What is your financial status?
A. Vagrant
B. Unemployed
C. Debtor's prison

5. Where do you live?
A. Sleepy Hollow Gulch
B. Ubangi Swamp
C. Saturn
D. House Trailer

6. What kind of toothpaste do you use?
1. Striped
B. Polka-dotted
C. Carbonated
D. Soap

7. Why aren't you an alcoholic? (answer in two words or less)

8. Why aren't you wearing snowshoes?
A. They hurt my feet
B. I can't wear them in the house
C. I can't tie my own snowshoe laces
D. Someone stole them

9. What is your phone number?
A. WEstmore 5-1822
B. Centorvestelvich 11-111B4
C. Disconnected
D. I can't afford one in the first place

10. What kind of work do you do?
A. Moonshiner
B. Safe cracker
C. Counterfeiter
D. High School Principal

11. What is the time?
A. 1:00 A.M.
B. 2:00 A.M.
C. 3:00 A.M.

12. What radio station are you listening to?
E. My own station

13. What is your first name?
A. Zeke
B. Doc Ferdinand
C. Lightning Lee
D. Uncle Jim

14. What is your last name?
A. Ervingestivetaloski
B. Cycumstrovik
D. Hollihan
E. Luke

Credit Where Credit is Due

Centorvestelvich, Ervingestivetaloski and Cycumstrovik
were creations of Dave Schmidt